he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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