im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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