is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
