Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
