I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Every concussion has its silver lining
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
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