some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Randomize
