he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize