So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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