I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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