I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
