i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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