either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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