The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
