My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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