It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
