Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
