he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
