Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize