i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
