I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
