i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
