He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize