i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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