it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
