I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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