You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize