There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
