I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize