I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
