you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
