Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
