It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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