We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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