Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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