just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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