i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
