Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize