i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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