he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
