Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
