This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
