he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize