It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
