i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
