it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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