There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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