Non-Jews are for practice
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So many bounce houses so little time
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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