Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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