Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
