i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
