love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
