i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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