the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
