woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
