Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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