I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
