I'm really into asian looking animals
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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