i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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