its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I didn't notice because vodka
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
