dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
