Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
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