Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We don't watch enough power rangers
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
