Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Randomize
