We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
