I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize