Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
