Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Randomize
